Michelle Branch And Baby Owen

So What If Your Friends Think I'm Crazy? Well, I Wasn't Trying To Impress Those Girls Anyway.

So you may all mock me, and I don't care

I'm sure there were many seventeen year old girls who shared my appreciation of Chris Carrabba (ok so I lie, I still liked him when I was eighteen!)

I mean, what isn't to like about a guy who has a flight of stairs and a door coming out of his chest? hmmm.....

The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

No, I didn't take the photo

And no, I'm not going to follow in Just Walk's footsteps of quoting Dashboard lines

But yes I have been on this beach

And no, there are no trees on this beach

Sometimes experiences make you wise, and you learn to fall more softly the more times you fall

And sometimes you hurt more badly each time you fall, because you weren't quite recovered from last time...

Like the time the girl at school had her leg in a cast, and the week she finally had it off she broke it again falling off a table

I'm glad I didn't see it, I am a bit squeamish about that sort of thing

Anyhow, whilst I may be a fairy who lacks the ability to fly, I am not a girl who lacks the ability to fall

Just The Way I'm Feeling

One of those days

...and a few less socks


*dizzy*


and the worst thing is, my laundry has been in the tumble-drier for two days now... you'd think I'd collect it rather than take pictures from inside another drier and then leave...

whoever heard of trying to empathise with a lost sock?

A Tree

Punk Baby

Ok, so I wasn't exactly your conventionally "cute" baby, but at least I was interesting... It's a shame I still haven't mastered the use of a hairbrush...

The Tree

Why do I fall out of trees I didn't even climb?

Marty: Part Two

Marty bumbled along, huming to himself as he went... "mmmmmmmmm"

Huming was a pleasant pastime he rather felt, it was sort of like singing, only more open to different interpretations. And that was something he was beginning to comprehend - interpretation.

For instance, not so long ago (but long enough for his forgetful aphidy brain to be slightly hazy on the matter) he had been conversing with a rock (or so he had believed, in fact it was Fred the Snail, who was not in fact a rock, but indeed was a snail. But Marty's aphidy brain failed to comprehend the possibility that he had been wrong when he had thought Fred was a rock, and on discovering evidence to the contrary (the protrusion of a slimy snail-like head), rather than displacing his fallacious asumption with one more reasoned on the facts (for instance, the assumption he was in fact talking to a snail, and not a rock), was not a thought that Marty had considered. Indeed, it is difficult for even those whose capacity for mental gymnastics exceeds that of an aphid to reach the conclusion that in the light of new evidence they were wrong, that when reassessed perhaps things were not as one had thought, perhaps they are quite another. This being so (and indeed, it is) there was little hope for Marty's aphidy brain to even perform a mental forward roll, let alone the mental barani required for such a drastic disposition of one's former belief with quite another.) who had told him that detritus was 'most palatable', yet Martin did not think so. In fact he interpreted the taste he experienced as 'mank'.

Then it struck him - no scratch that, it was a passing fly, he had not had any great epiphany.

Then it struck him - was there a right answer? Was there? Was there? IS THERE? Was there one answer, a definate truth, is detritus delicious or not?

For Marty no, for the snail yes. Conundrum, were they both simultaneously right?

Or was one of them wrong? Are things always right or wrong, or always relative to one's taste buds (or indeed other dispositions that Marty was not currently disposed to consider)?

Or perhaps, somethings are relative, and somethings are right or wrong?

Marty could feel his little brain feeling quite befuzzled by this point...

Perhaps humming was not such a great pastime after all, perhaps it only made one's brain hurt.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

"Yikes!" squeeked Marty. "That was very loud humming"

The noise continued..."MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

"MMM get out my way you green obstruction" said the loud humming. It was louder now, almost as if the humming was closer. Curious, The humming was VERY loud now, in fact it is so loud Marty almost thought it was in exactly the same place as he was....

And just at that moment Marty felt himself being coursely shoved out of his flight path by something rather hairy.

It was the humming in bodily form!

The body of the humming being rather hairy and stripey, like one of those jumpers your granny might knit you for Christmas. But Marty would not know such things, for his grandmother did not knit, nor do aphids wear jumpers. In fact, just to confuse matters, female apids often contain developing embryos within themselves (their daughters), and those embryos may further contain developing embryo's (the grandaughters of the first aphid), in a process known as 'telescoping of generations'. And not one of those generations knit any jumpers, meaning Marty completely failed to spot any similarity between the bodily form of the humming and a hairy jumper....

Instead Marty thought 'how rude!' So he said so - "how rude!"

The humming retorted defensively "I am a very busy bee and I have no time to waste you see!"

Marty didn't. Indeed it is hard to see too much when you are flung headlong through the air at speed.

The humming was now further off.

Marty was even more befuzzled, and his head now distinctly hurt. So much so that following the humming seemed a perfectly logical thing to do.

So he did; here there, everywhere... until all of a sudden....

*silence*

Marty stopped dead in his tracks. And landed on a petal. It appeared (his head was still spinning, so we cannot make any firm assertions just yet) that he was sitting on a flower. And lo and behold, the hairy jumper/bodily humming (depending on whether or not you have a grandmother who knits you hairy jumpers or not; so please select the analogy of preference and utility to your current mental disposition and incliations) was furtively rooting about in the flower.

"Ahem" ventured Marty.

"MMMM what are you doing here little green obstruction? Can't you see I am a busy bee, and have no time to converse with thee."

Marty saw little, he was too dizzy to open his eyes for prolonged periods just the minute...

"I am sorry," Marty apologised, "but I heard your humming, and indeed it is a pastime that I myself until of late enjoyed to partake in (but it made my head hurt somehow, I forget), and I was curious as to how it is you hum so loudly?"

The bodily humming paused, "MMM I am Wendy the Worker Bee" the humming replied, "and bees make a buzz when they move because of the movement of their wings at a rate of 11,400 strokes per minute, and not because we hum. Bees don't hum, we know the words."

Marty did not feel now was the moment to argue in favour of the virtue of wordless songs, and their interpretative value, for at this precise moment he had the distinct feeling humming had not done him any good... so instead he swiftly replied "erm, yes. Well, on another topic. I was just on a quest as it happens..."

"Ahh a quest!! interjected the bodily humming. "Yes I too am on a quest - a quest for nectar!"

Marty was begining to think humming was an entirely negative trait in a being, this humming fellow clearly had a very bad headache from all her humming, as she was being decisively rude and interrupting Marty on top of having already assaulted him. Marty made a mental note to write some words for his hums so he could avoid all risk of humming in future. He would hate to become such a crass and inconsiderate bug.

Nevertheless, short of anything else to do, he continued on with the conversation. "Yes well, erm, you see I am on a quest to discover the answer to the universal question - 'is sap delicious?' And I was wonde..."

"Delicious? What else is delicious other than nectar! Sweet nectar... MMMM" the bodily humming interrupted.

"Yes, yes, well if I could just finish I was about to ask..." and then he realised what the bodily humming had just said, "delicious you say? Yes well funny you should speak of 'delicous', because I was just wondering myself, 'is sap delicious?' For if nectar were to be delicious, then why! perhaps sap is not delicious at all!"

"MMM" hummed the bodily humming. "Sap I have not tried, but netar, now there is delicious if there ever was such a notion!"

Marty was very excited by this prospect, indeed the bodily humming's enthusiasm for this 'nectar' stuff was most infectious, so infectious in fact Marty started a jiggly little dance on the petal.

"MM I say! Stop that you little green obstruction! You are preventing me from being able to get at the nectar with all your bobbing making the flower wobble!" grumbled the bodily humming.

"Sorry" Marty said in earnest, "I was just happy to think there is something else in the world that is as delicous, or may even be more delicious than sap, for if that is so then it would answer the universal question - 'is sap delicious?'"

"Well," considered the bodily humming, "I don't think it is quite logical to conclude that just because one thing is discovered to be delicious, something else that one formerly thought to be delicious is in fact not. MMMMMM They may both be delicous at the same time. Indeed, it may be entirely a matter of personal opinion whether you consider either to be delicious at all, regardless of what anyone else thinks."

Suddenly Marty's original headache came rushing back to him...

"Right, well I will have to think about that one sometime. But in the meantime, what about this nectar business?"

"Ah, well now. I speak of necatar like it is the bee-all and end all, but I don't have much time to appreciate nectar much these days." the bodily humming replied."You see, I am a worker bee, and my job is to collect pollen and nectar to feed to the other bees back at the hive. MMMMMM Well, not all the bees, just the larvae, queen and drones. And as for myself, well I don't really have time to be appreciating nectar... I am a very busy bee you see, and my job must be done speedily."

Marty looked glum "but that isn't fair, you have discovered something delicous, something you are excited about, yet you don't have the time to appreciate it?" It seemed to Marty to be a very sad thing that one should not have time to value those things that made one happy.

"MMM Oh it's not so bad my little green obstruction" the bodily humming comforted, "I like keeping busy, it's like I was made that way. I was made to do this and I cannot feel sad that my role in life is purposive and meaningful. Perhaps I don't have time to simply munch on nectar all day, but I am contributing to the great community of the hive!"

Marty was baffled, "hive?"

"Yes, where all the bees live together, our community home, where we raise the young and spend our days until such time as we die." the bodily humming reflected.

These ideas of community and dying were too much for Marty, he could barely comprehend humming.

"Well I am not sure I know what a hive is, but I would very much like to try nectar if I may?" Marty ventured to enquire,

"Ah well just pop your proboscis down this bit in the centre of the flower here and take a slurp"

Ah! A fellow insect who had a proboscis! This was certainly less embarrasing than last time he tried to taste someone else's food, Marty felt his headache lifting at the mere prospect!

Marty was so excited he began a little jiggery jiggle, until a stern glance from the bodily humming caused him to swiftly decease from such motions. So he took a slurp...

"I say!" declared Marty! "Wooooo, that was strong, I don't feel so good" The rush of sugary nectar had quite affected Marty, and he began wobbling and woosing all over the place, "WOOOOOOOO!" he exclaimed, "I feel all fizzy and energetic!"

"MMMMM" thought the bodily humming, "you do realise that nectar is full of sugar don't you? It is no use to me to have a little green obstruction like yourself to look after if you can't hold your sugar, I am a very busy bee, and I have no time for being trippy."

The headrush had passed, and Marty sat as carefully as he could (which was hard when he felt all jiggly and shaky), and thought about his experience. Indeed, the nectar had been powerful stuff, but too powerful. It had tasted far, far sweeter than the sap he was used to, but in excess. It was too sweet, too sweet to savour. And the effect was most disturbing considering Marty's propensity to jiggle and jive without the aid of a sugar rush.

"Well," gurgled Marty, "that was interesting, but I think It was just all too much. It was like taking everything that is good about sap to the extreme, to the point that is no longer enjoyable."

"MMM" buzzed the bodily humming with distinct irritation, "look you are quite annoying me now. I am very busy and you are clearly an ignorant little green obstruction who has no appreciation of the finer things in life. This is most delicious nectar, and if it is too much for you then you are clearly a very silly little bug."

Marty had the feeling of deja vu, almost if he had insulted someone's favourite food before and had recieved a similar reprimand. But his mind was going at forty knots and he had no inclination to try and pursue such recollection in his current disposition.

Marty looked forlornly at the pretty flower, and sighed. "I am sorry," he said, "I did not mean to offend you. I am sure that nectar is most delicious if you are a worker bee, but I am a young aphid and my tastes cannot cope with such an extreme flavourly and bodily experience."

Wendy looked at the dizzly little green obstruction, and saw that he had indeed been taken for six by drinking the nectar. "MMM that is ok, I am sorry to have been irritable, I guess I am just not very patient what with being so busy these days. I suppose not everyone can cope with nectar, and perhaps it should not be given to little fellows like yourself who clearly are not used to it."

"That's ok" Marty gestured, "but now I must be off as I have a long quest before me to find the answer to the univesal question, that being - 'is sap delicious?' So I will bid you good day, and shall leave you in peace."

And with that Marty flew off, as Wendy waved an antenna as she saw her little jigging green obstruction of a friend bumble off into the distance. But she was soon consoled by another delicious slurpful of nectar.